Don't overlook the quiet ones ~ 

Every class I enter has a few students who stand out.  Their unabashed enthusiasm for learning makes  even the shabbiest classroom shine.  China is one of those children.  He is 15 years old and bopping.  Literally, bopping with excitement. I am the first native English speaker he has met and he wants to perfect his accent.   So I will be meeting with him and a collection of his friends before and after class so they can practice.  It is so easy to interact with these charismatic kids.  Many more students are more reticent but fortunately,  after last night's experience,  I have learned not to overlook them.

My Tuk Tuk was a no-show.  No more Ba-dum and Mr. Thom doesn't speak any English and isn't as reliable.  After dark the streets in the school's neighborhood go from bad to worse.  People were gathered around open fires in the roads (in the middle of the roads) and huddled in darkened recesses.  If not for the hoards of children everywhere it would have been very threatening.

As I was trying to figure out what to do, and control my rising anxiety, Lim Na came and sat next to me (pictured here).  I tried to chat with her but she was too shy to speak   I was getting more uncomfortable.  No Tuk Tuks in this neighborhood, but I don't think I would have gotten on one anyway.  It really was a scary setting.  Lim Na started to talk a bit...then a bit more...and within 15 minutes her English was really pretty good.  Seeing that I needed help gave her the confidence she needed to open up to me.  I watched this sweet girl blossom in less than an hour.  She had someone call for a Tuk Tuk then she even helped negotiate a price (I would have paid just about anything to get out of there!).  Lim Na told me she liked talking to me because I reminded her of her sponsor who lives in Texas.  CCF offers sponsorships for these amazing children which enables them to attend school and pay for a rice stipend for their family.  I'm going to have a tough time choosing who I'm going  to sponsor before I leave.  As I boarded my Tuk Tuk I gave Lim Na a hug and told her she was my hero.  She bowed and gave me a huge smile and said she'd look for me tomorrow.   It is hard to explain the feeling I get with interactions like this.  They continue to be soul filling.  No other way to describe it.

I hope you won't get tired of these kid photos!

First Day of School

I survived my first day.  First class was tough as it consisted of about 23 young women (averaging 20 years old) and only about 5 spoke a very little bit of English.  I have this same group three times a week and supposed to be teaching them about project management.  We'll see...  The highlight was when I took out my "go to" Bubble Yum and had them all try to learn how to make bubbles.  A new experience for many of them.  The creative part was how I tied that into a project management lesson.  I may need more gum.

I took a couple of pictures from the road in front of the school.  This is up the street...

And this is down the street.  Those holes you see

are about 2 feet deep with icky water flowing below.  Not sure what's going on there but I'm betting it isn't too sanitary.

I had a very interesting conversation with a young man who came to Phnom Penh from his village because there wasn't enough food for him at home.  His friend encouraged him to take an exam for a college scholarship and he described how excited he was when he passed on the second go'round. He graduated with a degree in political science and now wants to work in the government to improve the lives of Cambodians.   He told me of the gross corruption here and how one has to buy their way into government jobs,  explaining how people are threatened if they speak critically of those in power.   (Puts the debacle in Washington in a different light.)  This young man works 17 hours a day so he can send some money back to his family and wants so badly to make more of his life.  We take so much for granted. 

I met my second class of seven 15-year olds after a harrowing drive to a different building.  Their English was much better, though still very limited.  As a first step in critical thinking (the theme for this class) I wanted them to understand a sequential thought process.  So I brought out peanut butter, jam and bread and asked them to described, step by step, how to make a sandwich.  Then I got jiggy with it as you can see in this video.  Liz Wilson - I am using some of the money you contributed for the food supplies for the rest of the  classes for this exercise.  I thought it would be fun, educational, help with English and also give them a healthy snack.  You can tell by the giggles it was a big hit!

I then went home and totally crashed!  I'm going to need some superman vitamins to get through 19 classes a week.  Today was a holiday so I could spend the time putting together lesson plans for the next few days.  I'm told there are a lot of holidays.  I'm not sure if "a lot" is going to be enough!  I'm becoming a regular at The Elephant Bar in the Raffles Hotel.  Evening recharging will help...

It was a good day~

Here is Ba-dun greeting me today, my last day before I start my real work.  As I settled into the TukTuk I casually watched the usual merging into traffic.  We begin by turning onto the wrong side of the road and then, drive down the street (yes - into the middle of oncoming traffic) weaving  around other  TukTuks, mopeds, trucks, cars, bicycles, people selling - well everything from fruit to carseats (not childrens's seats, actual car seats) eventually getting to our side of the road.  Gives a new meaning to "merging".  What makes this  safer is the fact that there are no less than a dozen other vehicles of all types doing exactly the same thing all around us.    Today was the first day I  took it all in stride.  It was like that all day.

I can't figure out who stops in the middle of the road to buy juice!
Or maybe it's soup.  Who knows.  This idea is worse than the
firemen's boot change drop.

Gloria and Kerry, I think I found us a biking buddy.

Interesting how quickly we can adapt to our surroundings.  I set myself up comfortably in my now-favorite coffee shop for a few hours to catch up on my Stratton work then called for my trusty side-kick  who delivered me to the grocery store. Lucky's was in a large, insane mall.  This area was total chaos, with thousands of mopeds milling around and three different DJ's with huge loudspeakers blaring different music.  Like some drug trip gone bad.  (Well I guess all drug trips are bad)  I wandered through stress-free and I thought about how, only a few days ago, I blanched at the thought of this excursion.  Some interesting finds:

Mixed Galangal anyone?  Only 50 cents

White duck eggs, ok, but bright pink ones.  And black.
Wonder what the duck look like who laid these
Hello Kitty babies!

I got my supplies, including what is hopefully laundry soap and not toilet bowl cleaner.  I truly couldn't tell the difference.  I calmly sauntered out past the wild crazies, just as cool as a cucumber (well as cool as a cucumber can be when it's a heat index of like 140 degrees!)  I barely recognized myself.  I was never this daring before.

**********

I think that the type of courage you need to be adventurous is like a muscle.  The more you flex it the stronger it becomes, because before last week I NEVER would have believed I could be adapting to this so quickly.  It feels good to know that resiliency is something you can instill in yourself.  It feels empowering to conquer a fear.  Even if that fear is going to a restaurant alone.  As I sat in The Elephant Bar in The Raffles Hotel this evening drinking my Pim's Cup and reading a book, I was thankful for this new-found courage.  So go flex some chutzpah muscle.  It is so worth it!

CHEERS!

"Just because you haven't found your talent yet doesn't mean you don't have one" ~ Kermit the Frog

I knew today was going to be tough because I was heading to the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum where the Khmer Rouge tortured over 20,000 men, women and children.  If they survived this gruesome treatment they were packed up in trucks and driven about 7 miles away to the killing fields where they were beaten, suffocated or shot and then buried in mass graves.  One third of the population of Cambodia, about 2,000,000, killed between 1975 and 1979.  It is hard to fathom that people are capable of such inhumanity.  Inhumanity - it's such an odd word since it suggests that humans don't do what, in reality, only humans are capable of doing.  And then there are those like me.  While this was going on I was in high school worried about my hair, my clothes, my friends.  How could I have been so ignorant of this appalling situation?  As I was chiding myself during this horrific tour I remembered that atrocities like this are going on today in other parts of the world and yet I go about my usual life, caught up in my usual daily mini-dramas and crises.   Human nature is bewildering.

As I left the museum I headed to my ever-faithful Ba-dum and felt someone at my side.  I kept my head down and continued walking, assuming it was a pesky person looking to sell me something.  Ba-dum tapped my arm and gestured to my side.  I turned, unprepared for what I saw.  I only hope the shock that I felt to my core didn’t register in my expression.  The man asking for money had been terribly burned.  His scars covered his entire head and neck.  He had only eyes and a hole for his mouth.  I immediately grabbed $5.00 and put it in his upturned hat.  He bowed and said something and turned to walk away.  I told Ba-dum to bring him back as I fished out another $10.00.  He bowed more deeply and left.  I then dissolved into tears.  Poor Ba-dum didn't know what to do.  It was all just too much.  I sucked back the tears and told myself to man up.  If I carry other people's pain I won't have the resources to help them.  (Great advice from my mom years ago).  But what resources could I possibly have to make a difference?  Tears again.  I felt helpless.

So I spent some time this afternoon soul searching, then quote searching.  (After I stopped in my favorite coffee shop - because - well,  I might be in despair, but a girl still needs her frappuccino macchiato pick-me-up).   I searched under Joseph Campbell, more Lao Tzu, and Buddha, among others.  I was looking, not for inspiration but for guidance after such a day.  None had the answers I was looking for.  I googled quotes for suffering and then quotes for hopelessness, even quotes for the human condition from our greatest teachers and philosphers.  Nothing fit.   And then Kermit the Frog gave me something.  He gave me hope.  

“Just because you haven’t found your talent yet, doesn’t mean you haven’t got one.”  I haven't figured out what my talent is here yet but it doesn't mean I don't have one.  And when I find it I will strive to make a difference.  Unfortunately, probably not for this man.  He will haunt my dreams, but the horror I felt wasn't because of his disfigurement.   It was due to knowing he is in despair, and being hopeless is the worst thing of all.

Tuol Sleng was a school before being turned into this prison.
The outer hallways shown are covered in barbed wire which
was added after a female "prisoner" jumped, committing suicide.
The Khmer Rouge didn't want people killing themselves before
extracting "intelligence" information from them through torture.

This is one of the converted classrooms that housed 12
prisoners in these brick catacomb-like structures.  Captives
were kept chained to the floor and any noise coming from
their cell resulted whippings, electric shocks or worse.  

This is one of the cells.  You can see the chains that held
these victims.  Even the sound of these chains moving would
result in torture.  The dark object in the bottom right is a box.
Just a box.  It was also their toilet.  Sometimes it was emptied.

"If you do not change direction you may end up where you are going" ~ Lao Tzu

Trusty Ba-dun picked me up this morning (got his name wrong yesterday) and off I went to the American Embassy to find out if I really need a Japanese Encephalitis vaccination.  I've already gotten personal with a few mosquitos and was feeling a bit paranoid.  A friend also kept insisting that I should let them know I'm here.  Well guess what - they couldn't care less.  Through multiple bullet proof windows I was told that I should get the shot at the Paster (???) and pay for it myself (well yeah) .  And they were very not-nice about it.  What are embassies actually for again?  I started to feel that this was the #1 on my to-do list then realized that the person on the other side of the glass really didn't speak much English so I decided get a second opinion.  I also remember some good advice from a very long time ago.  If you ever need help in a foreign country go to the British or French Embassy.  This advice came from someone in the American Embassy.  

I then took a very long hot walk to find Gloria Jeans for coffee.  It was along the river and the Lonely Planet book talked about scenic river cruises so I thought this would be a good excursion.  Ha!  The river looked great last night - in the dark.  It is a totally murky coffee color that swallows the sunlight so no light reflection either, which is an odd effect, with...things floating along (and I'm not talking boats - there are a few of those as well).  A few interesting stores overlooking the Mekong River such as this Coffin Shop, next to the video store and massage parlor.  

All the coffins were very colorful but I was afraid to get a better picture
in case I appeared to be disrespectful. 

I couldn't find Gloria Jeans so turned around, disappointed, sweaty and lightheaded.  I decided to cross the street in the hopes that a different viewpoint would put Gloria's in my line of vision.  Well I ended up literally bumping into...Brown.  Tra. La. Laaaa

Actually better than Starbucks - yes it's true.  Just a little bit of Air-conditioned heaven.  "Air" deserves to be capitalized here.  And thus my opening Lao quote.  I was so busy looking for the familiar that I almost missed a serendipitous discovery.  A good lesson to take to heart.  As I move towards my anticipated goal, keep my eyes open for new opportunities, but also don't forget to keep my eyes on the road or I could get run over by one of a thousand TukTuks, bicycles, trucks or mopeds!

Found the Central Market with about 20,000 vendors selling everything from ipods to butt enhancers.  What is a butt enhancer you ask?  Well I thought you'd need a photo...

Yes - these were sold in MANY stalls.  Apparently
Cambodians are concerned about their boodies.
Or is that booties?  And not just for women...

...and we have a few shoes...This was one of about
50 shoe rows.  And I only saw about 1/5 of the market.

Ba-dun greeted me at the entrance to the market and conquered my street crossing fear by grabbing my hand and using his other had to halt the traffic, stepping out into its midst like he was Moses parting the Red Sea.

Along the way I see things that make me think of people from home.  All the power lines look like this:

These pics are for Brian Keefe and Robert Dostis, my Vermont utility friends!  And I've seen worse.  with all the wires laying around the road at the base of these poles!  

And I've got a couple for Joe Benning and John Rodgers Vermont's Libertarian-ish Senators:

 
Cambodians don't all need no stinking helmets, especially the kids.  And there are four people on both bikes.  Five is the maximum I've seen thus far.  

I don't think this will ever get old.

A couple of interesting sights on my way to work.

Every trip out is an event of a lifetime!

         

                

But the very best part of my day... I am hooked...

  "Try not.  Do or do not!!!  There is no try." ~ Yoda

Well that was my mantra today.  I had a great morning.  Got picked up by Perr Rack (I'm spelling everything phonetically so pronunciation is easier) and had a tour of the 4 CCF "campuses".  There was a bad storm a few days ago which created a lot of flooding.  I hope these photos do justice to the drive we had!

Is this guy practical or what?  Convenient way to wash your car!

One of the campuses (where I'm supposed to teach) was also badly flooded and we visited as the students were sweeping/bailing out their school.  I learned a lot about the Fund.  They do so much for 1,800 children and their families.  They have a nursery, daycare center, community medical clinic, vocational training school and then coordinate public school education with additional classes for all elementary through high school students.  Hundreds of the children stay in these centers full time as well.  Very busy places with lots of smiling beautiful children.  I'll be teaching 19 classes starting Monday.  I said I wanted to be kept busy so...here goes...  and yes - Of course I am terrified!  I purchased this little bag from Northshire Bookstore awhile back and it is a lot easier to follow this advice here than it is in Dorset!

I was dropped off back at my apartment and feeling lonely, scared, hot and mostly hungry.  I've been living on the food I brought with me because it is dang intimidating out there!  Well I thought of the Yoda quote and sucked it up.  Armed with my map, my bogus Lonely Planet Cambodia book (I say bogus because I don't know what Cambodia the author was visiting when he wrote that book - but it sure wasn't this Cambodia!) and my trusty backpack with camera, phone and bug spray, down to the streets I went.  In front of my building a TukTuk driver offered to take me somewhere and so I started out at the National Museum which was an oasis of tranquility for sure.  (Dang if I can't figure out how to place these photos side by side!)

So after a hot walk around town I got dropped off at a nice hotel near my apartment.  Woo Hoo!  Another oasis but this one comes with a Cafe.  Mom- this totally reminded me of us in Thailand!  I just used the ATM but know it's there tomorrow.  I then went to walk home and realized I couldn't cross the street!  I'm still trying to get my video up here so you can understand the predicament I was in.  For now you'll just have to take my word for it.

So I sheepishly approached a TukTuk driver to ask him to drive me across the street for a dollar.  And that is how I made the greatest find so far (well after the little shop that sold toilet paper- that was truly the greatest find).  He became my most loyal buddy.  Drove me home for free and spoke pretty good English.  Asked if I'd need him again.  YES!  So I decided to go out to dinner.  He drove  me to the Foreign Correspondent's Club (historic hangout of war journalists) where I had a great dinner and talked to a couple of ex-pats who informed me that the ice in my drink was a-ok.  Well, Yay:)  I exited the restaurant and out from a sea of insanity came my trusty TukTuk driver, Bantu.  I did a little happy dance in my head cause look how far I've come in two days!!!  And tomorrow I'm braving another outing.  Thank you Bantu...and Yoda.

From dinner of Reese's Puffs to a dinner riverside of Pad Thai and Sangria - with ice (ice that doesn't make you "regretful"). The things we take for granted until you get to a place like this.

I got home feeling so much more comfortable with my surroundings and if I didn't think of the Yoda quote I would have sat in my room all day.  He is indeed a wise Jedi Master... Tomorrow Banttu will take me to a Wat (Buddhist Temple) but my motivation for the location is because a Gloria Jeans Coffee Shop is nearby - say what!

I did it!  Here's the link to the road situation here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJ0WQjoOUKQ

Getting on my way ~

Checked into a nice hotel in Taipei and had to get to the airport at 5:30 am because I was wait-listed for the flight to Cambodia.  I couldn't get a reservation for three days.  I woke up, felt 90% better but then started to get really uptight.  I was thinking about how expensive this hotel was going to be and how much I wanted to get my trip started.  That's when lesson 1B kicked in.  I've heard this before (mostly from quotes on Facebook and from my mother) but this morning I took it to heart.  You can't control your circumstances.  You can prepare as best you can, but then you can only control how you respond to those circumstances.  So I decided that I wouldn't worry about the wait-list.  If I made it great, if not, I could spend a few days in the Taipei airport and be like that Tom Hanks character that lives in the airport.  I had to remind myself a few times, but I went with the flow.  I had a charming young man help me get a seat, then helped me race through security and customs to just make it on the plane, and my luggage (which I hadn't seen in 24 hours) made it too! 

You can only control how you respond to your circumstances.

I checked into my apartment and homesickness in sinking in.  I know it'll be ok in a few days but it is crazy here!!!  Hot as anything and they mean it when they say don't wear sleeveless shirts.  I tried to go for a walk but too many people staring and calling out made me retreat back early - that and the roads are really not walkable.  I thought I was prepared but this is worse than Thailand!  I hope this video clip captures the atmosphere!  On to Cambodian Children's Fund tomorrow:))))

Taipei

I was waiting for my final flight when I began to get chest pains along with pain running down my arm and had to figure out what to do.  Do I get on the plane and risk a heart attack on a 3 1/2 hour flight?  Was it really no big deal.  Well by the time we were boarding I was dizzy, nauseous and short of breath.  Made the decision easy and hey I figured - Vermont is always talking about Taiwan's healthcare system, now I have a chance to see it up close and personal.  So in a wheelchair, through customs, immigration, ambulance to some hospital somewhere.  The ER was hopping.  I was totally overwhelmed and sucking back tears (fear-for my health, disappoinment- my trip of a lifetime can't be aborted now, isolation- few spoke English and I didn't even have a Taiwanese dollar to buy a bottle of water, trepidation - was the needle sterilized that was in for my IV and what injection did the nurse just give me???  

Well it was morphine.  This experience wasn't surreal enough but now I'm zonked out on morphine.  Well, here's an interesting little known fact...Taiwanese sounds like English when you are flying high.  Seriously weird.  I attracted a bit of attention being the only farang in the place.  One toothless youngish guy kept walking by me saluting.  It got to be a bit odd so I tried to close my eyes or read my book when he walked by.  He then stood by my bed talking in a low threatening voice sounding like he was casting a curse on me- so creepy.  I tried to believe he was actually a Taiwanese Shaman chanting healing prayers but that took some imagination.

I decided that this was going to be a learning experience.  That I'd take something good from this.  I tried really hard.   I learned that all staff wore face masks, which makes it really hard to tell one person from another.  I noticed that loads of people appear to be suffering from the flu and staff didn't help people too much - that was left for family.  I noticed that after ten at night the crowd changes from poor screaming babies to drunks and prostitutes.  The change in clientele was pretty interesting but didn't seem to be the lessons I was searching for.  I finally got a doctor and nurse who spoke English well.  Got the tests to determine that my pericarditis wasn't severe enough to kibosh my trip and then I got the beginning of my lesson...The doctor was amazing.  He got my hotel while the nurse called the airline.  They both helped me check out and called for a "safe" taxi and walked me out to talk to the driver and the doctor gave me his cell number in case I needed anything more.  I hugged them both and was so moved by my vulnerability and their outreach.  Creepy shaman saluted as I walked out with a big toothless grin - looking far less threatening.  As I sat back in the taxi, listening to beautiful soothing Asian music I looked back to wave to the doctor and nurse and shaman jogged next to the car, proudly saluting the whole way.  This was lesson 1A - show your vulnerability and people will touch your heart (even a slightly swollen and achy one).  Lesson 1B was to come in the morning.

Some of my ER patients.  This place was hopping!

This person was next to me.  In my drugged state I thought it looked like Yoda was in for an ear-job.  She was fine in the end so I thought it was ok to publish this.  Still can't figure out what the heck was on her heard!

....and Liftoff!  On my way to Phnom Penh to volunteer for 7 weeks with the Cambodian Children's Fund...

And God bless all my friends and family who have had to listen to me talk about this for the last few months.  Bad news guys...I'm probably going to have a lot more to talk about!  and so it began...

Had a great sendoff at Albany Airport by Sanfra, Karen and Lene - it was a wonderful way to head off for this adventure.  Landed in LAX and was met by Margot and Jeff.  I had a great visit and even got to watch Jeff in his studio compose some music.  A new first for me - for someone who can't hold a tune watching the composer at work was awesome!

Got on the plane to head to Taipei before connecting to Phnom Penh.  Hello Kitty is all the rage apparently.  I think the pilots were holding their heads in shame as they boarded the plane bedecked with the Hello Kitty logo plastered on the jet's side.

And more Kittyfied objects...

The checkin counter and a hot pink tube of e-ticket machines.  

On the plane Kity was everywhere- even the toilet paper!  Who would want their logo on toilet paper???

Ah yes - a Miss Kitty Breastfeeding station - of course.  And don't forget the luggage tags...

Kitty emergency evacuation chart and Kitty apron's for flight attendants

Kitty pillows and eating utensils.  There were more things but I was getting nauseated!